Jealousy

My hair is falling out

My skin is painted green

Do you see the signs

Of me bursting at the seems

My flaws are electrified

Sporting neon lights

I want to be as graceful

I want to be as beautiful

I want to be as courageous

I want to be as intelligent

Knowing that you are 

Makes me want to scream

Forever I will hate you 

For these things I'll never be

Conversation on the Value of Virginity

   The best conversations are ones that contain great conflict. Whether it is conflicting feelings or opinions, it’s the polarity that makes it interesting. Without the disagreement it can be like talking to yourself. Don’t misinterpret, it’s nice to find individuals who share your values and opinions but there is more to experience when sharing your opinions with those who feel differently. It’s more challenging, educational, and it’s more exciting to have to defend and challenge the differences in the dissenting views. One day I decided to express my ‘heathen’ views on female sexuality. Then a girl - we’ll call her Molly - called me out on my ‘immoral’ ways.
    I began by talking to a friend about how I believe society hurts women with its extreme obsession with a woman’s virginity. I was outlining why, when out of thin air Molly appeared and started telling me that it was my type of mindset that was undermining the conservative values of America. This was interesting to me because I didn’t feel like my personal beliefs had such a sinister nature. I asked her why my opinion was flawed. I could tell this was going to be interesting; her initial tirade had already proved we were polar opposites in every sense of the word. It was doubtful that either of us would change the others stance but this conversation would have the added difficulty of convincing her that my views were equally valid.
    She began by telling me it was important to stay pure and not reject traditional family values. I then asked her why being sexually active was rejecting traditional family values and what the reason for staying pure was. I genuinely wanted to know to broaden my own understanding of the world.
    The entire reasoning was that it was invariably important to stay worthy of your future spouse. The word ‘worthy’ fueled me. I refuse to believe that a person is defined by their sexuality. I asked her how an individual could be less/more of a person as a result of their sexual experience or lack there-of. She replied that “No guy wanted to be with used goods. It’s like we’re all cupcakes. Our purity is our ‘gorgeous or ornate frosting’. If we give up our virginity, essentially our frosting is being licked. When that was over, we were licked cupcakes, unwanted because no one wants someone’s second hand dessert.”

I almost fell over. This kind of thinking was unfathomable to me. It took me a moment to formulate my response based on that last sentence. I knew we would never agree but I wanted to end strong and hopefully just get her thinking about my side. I finished by saying, “I think I would dump a guy just as fast if he demanded I be virgin; as if he demanded I sleep with him. They both show that they don’t care for me in a meaningful way. Both care more about my sexuality than me.”

      We left it at that. I didn’t change her mind, nor did she change mine. Yet I continued to ponder our conversation. The concept of being an unwanted licked cupcake struck me hard. Not because I felt I fit that description, but because it was a real life example of the psychological damage of the obsession with female virginity I had initially claimed. Her decision to stay a virgin was out of fear; fear that she would not be loved unless she was one. It was not an informed decision based on her desire to have only one partner, or because she didn’t want to contract a disease from being promiscuous but because the world had told her that her personality was a distant second to her sexuality. Not only did it have conflict and passion, but it left me thinking. The conversation held no practical solution, nothing changed in our world.  However, this conversational conflict changed not my views but my goals. I want to do more to change this ideal, to protect women; enforce their sense of self and personal power. I have no interest in when a woman chooses to be sexually active. I simply want to help the women of this world choose what is right for them based solely on their needs and not based on society’s expectation.

Lost in Translation: The Dialogue Between Men and Women

“I’ll talk to you later,” this seemingly innocent statement often means GAME OVER for a woman. You see, so much of what you say is poked, prodded, dissected, scrutinized, analyzed, put in a flow chart, discussed and researched. This simple analytical tendency is at the core of man’s discombobulation about the fairer sex. The division of genders is entirely imagined because they can’t “think” like the other thus no one can communicate.

    It’s so hard for women to articulate exactly what they want or need. Society has placed this expectation on them, effectively killing a woman’s sense of personal power. The media portrays women as objects. They’re pretty, dainty and you take care of them. This is the ideal, perfection, what men “want” and women should be.

    At the same time a strong, independent, “no-nonsense” woman is portrayed to be a b—h. It’s no wonder women feel the need to be sneaky with their desires. We’re taught if you tell a man exactly what you want, need or think in any way that wasn’t enumerated in the handbook…welcome to the single’s cruise.

    In matters of the heart, these behaviors are at their peak. A girl likes a boy, flirts, follows the protocol according to Emily Post; then the ball is in the boy’s court. If the wedding invites aren’t immediately sent out: “He wasn’t interested,” “I’m not pretty enough,” “I’m not skinny enough,” “He’s gay,” and the “Men are another species.”

    Both men and women console themselves over the speciation dividing them. Aside from this making no sense biologically, it’s just not factual. Try as they might to tell you, women and men are the same (on the inside). They have the same feelings: want to be loved, fear of rejection, need to belong, confusion, desire etc.

    Emily Post might not be the best person to take advice on the opposite sex from. She simply doesn’t speak the direct language of men. Perpetuating woman’s verbal mitigation will only create more frustration. It’s not innate character differences or (entirely) society that separates man from his woman (and vice versa). Men just speak; women orchestrate their words. It’s a language barrier. Things simply get lost in translation.

Dear Life: Stop Stressing

Dear Life,

    I know we haven’t been on entirely pleasant terms. However, could you please consider discontinuing your assault on me. Your unprovoked attacks have left me with many injuries. This constant stream is too much. The mitigated term is stress. A more accurate description is emotional injury. I have tried to play nice. Took what you gave me. I was hardly your main victim. That ends now.

This is absolutely unprecedented. It’s like you are torturing me with a new weapon each week. I’m afraid it’s time to take drastic measures. If you don’t start treating me well; if you don’t stop injuring/stressing me I will be forced to press charges. Don’t think this will be a small suit. I can get some 7 billion witnesses who would love to testify to your cruelty. Consider these comments seriously. If you don’t drastically change your approach to me in the next month, the aforementioned measures will take place.

Jade Wilde

(cosigned: the human race)

Voyeurism

   

 
As humans we are all voyeurs by nature. I am no exception. We sit and people watch at the mall. Observing these strangers we start to ask questions and imagine what their lives are like. What does that woman in sweat pants, with screaming children do all day? Why is this couple together, when one clearly seems to be better than the other? We then compile our minute data and come to conclusions. This desire to know more about our fellow man is apparent in almost all subjects. All scholars are essentially voyeurs trying to determine the reason and behavior of our species.

Psychology -one of the most fascinating classes I have ever had- represents this exceptionally well. It’s beginning stems from the desire to know more about people and why they are the way they are. We classify types of personalities, disorders, behaviors and attempt to come up with generalizations that are important to the function of people and society. The same can be said about Sociology and Anthropology. People enter these fields because their curiosity can not be satisfied with a simple “because that’s the way it is.”

For most people entire sectors of the world are impossible to watch and understand because of cultural and language barriers. This is why the study of foreign languages is so relevant. In business it is simply smart to not limit your clientele. It also feeds into the need to know people and what’s going on around us. Writing and English studies also have these types of interest. In an English class you may study a character from a book, play, or film in depth to learn more about the story, theme, or author. Analyzing the structure of a sentence may reveal a colloquialism or junction that says more than the words themselves.

The most interesting things are inextricable from the function and culture of man. We enjoy learning and discovering the what, who, where, how and why. So go on my fellow voyeurs (everyone) and watch the world(s) around you.