Who I Am

    

Identity: the state of being oneself and not another. People spend years trying to find this concept for themselves. The reason it’s so difficult to uncover is who we are is always in flux. Arbitrary traits and characteristics do nothing to define us. Rarely do we embody one at all times. A happy disposition doesn’t negate the ownership of personal sadness. What was yesterday, might not be today.

 My identity, who I am, is not something I can articulate in a few choice words. It’s too contradictory, expansive, and personal; and I don’t know of any words, in any language, that can capture a persons soul. So who am I?

I can give you a few meaningless phrases and words:

 
Passionate
Introverted
Social
Easy-going
Believer in “Carpe Diam”
Intelligent
Kind
Writer
Artist
Dancer
Student
Teacher

Pugnacious
Sister
Daughter
Grand-daughter
Sinner
Saint
Strong-willed
Flawed

Unfortunately this isn’t accurate. I simply am.
I simply am.

How To: Get Your Car Fixed for Cheap

How To: Get Your Car Fixed for Cheap

    Whoever said it was a man’s world has no idea how easy it is to be a woman.Yes, perhaps you could say it’s an exploitation of my gender but hey, it’s a dog eat dog world. If batting my eyes gets me 45% off a plasma tv it would be insanity to ignore access to that type of discount. Some people have charisma, some use intimidation as their weapon for manipulation. I and all other women have breasts, and let me tell you it’s more powerful than the others combined.
    It’s odd that breasts have such awesome power. Half the population has them. You would imagine that there would be some sort of tolerance. Like when you spend enough time in a cold lake you no longer feel the chill. Yet all men are rendered helpless at a mere glimpse of them.
    Invest in silicone or a good bra, you’ll find it pays for itself. Breasts are what fix cars for cheap.

What Makes a 10 (Woman)

    Did you know we subconsciously try to pair with the most attractive mate possible. It’s quantified by a study, the researcher stripped all subjects of any overly attractive and sexual aspects. He then randomly placed numbers 1-10 on each subject’s head. Then the 10 men and 10 women were asked to pair off with the highest number who would have them. They never varied more than a single digit. This is how we try to find a partner in life. We start with aspirations for a 10 and gradually go down from there.
    Note: In general we are not completely aware of our own level of sexual allure. We tend to rate ourselves several points higher than reality.
   
    So for a moment pretend you are a 10 (and a guy if you’re not). What makes a your match “good enough” for you. What is the perfect, ideal woman.

    Eyes: Alexis Bledel’s eyes. Dang don’t they look photoshopped.

Nose: Rachel Mcadams

Chin: Ok here is my girl crush...well one of them. Understand my difficulty here, I want to put her down for just about everything. Keira Knightly

Cheeks: Ok I love her too. Why can’t I look like these women! Kristen Kreuk

Lips: Like there was any doubt who would personify the best of this trait. Scarlett Johanssen
 

Chest: Not to be groddy here. Again love her. Mila Kunis. (I’m straight I swear.)

Waist: One of the original sex symbols, Brigitte Bardot

Hips: Her hips don’t lie and are the ideal by most standards. Shakira (please whatever higher power is out there let me move and look like her).

Legs: She had to be on here. She is almost perfection on her own. The one, the only, Audrey Hepburn.
 

    So if you happen to have all these traits, congratulations! You are a 10 (know I silently hate you if you are-just kidding-kind of)!

If you want a woman like this check out my next post to see what your anatomical breakdown is for perfection.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope all of you find the perfect match physically and mentally.