How to Get Over a Guy/Girl in 10 Days

You’ve  had your heart broken? We all have been there and unfortunately being just a teenager you will likely experience it again. The truth is you’re never prepared to have your heart trampled. It always comes as a surprise, which is why it’s so hard to deal with. No one wants to be caught pinning. It comes off as pathetic and Bella-esque. Avoid this by getting over it ASAP. 10 days. 10 days is all it takes to get over the ass who broke your heart.

Disclaimer: Results may vary. Depending on the relationship you may only appear to be over it.

Night of Break-Up: Wallow. This is the only time you can do this. Cry, eat a pint of ice cream and watch An Affair to Remember.

Day 1: Get up and wash your sheets. You really don’t want to sleep on a pillow stale with your tears. This also keeps you moving, which is crucial. While the laundry is going grab a box from your garage. This shall be your Insert Ex’s Name Box. Fill this with things that will be associated with your ex. Pictures, gifts, books or movies you both watched, clothes you wore in their presence; pretty much anything that will make you think about them. Then put it in the far corner of the garage. You’ll want that stuff when you’re less angry.

Then go out. Don’t come home until you have laughed till you cry.

Day 2: Go hangout with friends today. Especially the ones you may have inadvertently neglected in your relationship. Have fun, reconnect, and bitch. Just bitch about everything you can’t stand in the world. Bitch about actors, movies, politics, family, friends, and above all else the jerk who broke your heart. Don’t talk about how you miss him/her. Talk about how you couldn’t stand how s/he wouldn’t respond to you. Talk about how they were a terrible kisser. Talk about how stupid they were and you always had to repeat yourself.

Day 3: After today you will look hot! I mean it. From dawn till dusk it’s about you and your vanity. This is normally very bad behavior. It’s true looks aren’t everything but after serious rejection you need to build yourself up. So get your hair done. Buy a new outfit. Go get your make-up professionally done then buy the stuff to do it. The sky's the limit, do anything you can think of that will make you squeal in delight about how absolutely awesome you are.

*Disclaimer: this can be an expensive step.

Day 4: Now you look amazing. Go mingle. You don’t need to find a soul mate just meet new people. Maybe a cutie that you can start talking/flirting with.

Day 5: About here is where you start hurting again. You’ve felt good but now you miss them and you want them back. Again avoid the Bella.

Rarely does getting back together work. Unless your name is Ross or Rachel it’s not going to happen. Maybe in a few years when you’ve both matured (Hey that’s what Ross and Rachel did). Getting back together just stalls moving on. There is a reason you broke up. That reason didn’t disappear in 5 days. Here is where you bitch again, but this time it’s to them. Write a letter about how much they suck. Embed that into your memory. They are bottom feeders and you deserve at least a step above that. Then burn the letter because who doesn’t love playing with fire.

Day 6: Be happy today. Just happy, don’t force it but allow yourself to be happy. Play and rejoice in life.

*This is an acknowledgement of how corny that just sounded.

Day 7: Ask that person who you’ve always thought is kind of cute. Ask an acquaintance who you know is just fun; ask them on a date. No pressure to have it grow into a relationship, it’s just a date. They’ll say yes because remember how hot you look.

Day 8: Go on said date. It’s a lot of fun to learn about someone and connect with them. What’s really cool about this is sense it’s all new you’re both on your best behavior and they treat you so much better than your ex.

This date will go one of two ways. One, you guys really hit it off and you go home and dance in your room about the great guy/girl that said they want to do it again. Two, they’re a dud. You get a red flag or two. Like they don’t like making eye contact (true story). The relationship doesn’t even begin this is just as well because now you’re picking up on behaviors you don’t like and discerning a spark from wanting to be with someone.

Day 9: Today is the day you interact a bit with your ex. You have classes together, mutual friends, you work together, or you go to the same place to get your morning caffeine. What you do here, is interact with them like an old friend. There is no contempt and no flirting, it’s just a meaningless conversation. You look classy and you can prove to yourself their diminished (hopefully a lot) hold on your heart.

Day 10: Go grab your box and take out the things you still want that doesn’t hurt you too much. Acknowledge you were together and you cared for him/her. Then remember how much fun and how much you’ve experienced without them. Put what’s left away in the garage for the next few months. Then continue on with your life and do what makes you really happy.